Your child needs the freedom to really find themselves and their place in the world and learn that their parents are just people … flawed people who made terrible mistakes …

Wait, no, that's too far. A little closer … there.

Does your wallet feel a bit lighter? Good. That's the first lesson. Your child needs freedom and space, but most of all, they need your money, and you should give it to them because above all you are a good parent. ?And you'll need someone to visit you in the nursing home.

In addition to explaining why you should joyfully give your child all of your hard-earned cash, this book will also explain the nuances of communicating with your child. For example, do not e-mail your child that your family dog has died. Oh, and never have sex, nor utter the word. Ever.

About the Author

Sarah Walker's humorous writings have been published at McSweeney's Internet Tendency and Opium Magazine. Currently she works at The Daily Show with Jon Stewart following previous stints at Late Night with Conan O'Brien and The Late Show with David Letterman. One of her short films, "Surviving Geddes," about the psychological impact on two grown woman who worked as models with the renowned baby photographer Anne Geddes, was shown in New York at the IFC's Newsfakers/Filmmakers charity film festival, sponsored by the McSweeney's tutoring center, 826NYC, in conjunction with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. She is also one half of the sketch duo, Walker and Cantrell (www.walkerandcantrell.com), who perform a weekly sketch comedy show at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in New York City.